This is a phrase I utter to myself almost on a daily basis. It is hard to imagine all the little things that a mother does day in and day out and it is almost impossible to imagine all of the things that mothers see or hear during the day. These are the things that may fade from our memories but they are things that make motherhood what it is… the most amazing and difficult journey of a lifetime.
1. When you get “free time”, the top priority is either showering or going through a week’s worth of mail that’s been collecting on the counter.
2. Knowing that the “To-Do List” that used to take you 3 days to complete, now takes 3 weeks. And that’s okay.
3. The only channels you have stored to memory are Nick Jr and Disney Jr.
4. You’re ok with your kid eating just plain white rice for dinner.
5. Not a day goes by without having a full on discussion about poop, pee or vomit.
6. You spend more on your kids shoes or clothing that they will wear for 2 months than you do on your own clothing that you will have for the next 10 years
7. You can’t remember the last time you showered, shaved your legs or had a Girl’s Night Out. I mean, seriously, I saw GNO on FB the other day and had to really think about what it meant. Sad, so sad.
My friends and I often talk about the difference a decade makes. So much has happened in all of our lives since our mid-twenties but we rarely take the time to look and see just how much we have grown. It is important to slow down and reflect. To take time to learn from the past. I think it helps us appreciate the present and plan for the future.
I would never change anything about where I am right now in life but it is funny to think how much goes on in just 10 years. When I was 26, I was in my Master’s Program, working full-time and going to school 3 nights a week. On Saturdays, I studied and wrote papers. On Sundays I did my internship for 10 hours in an Emergency Room. We had just purchased our first home and gotten a puppy. Somewhere in there I still found the time to do my Krav Maga two or three times a week and sneak in a happy our with friends every now and again. At the time I could not understand where I found all the energy. Reflecting back on it now I realize that it was one the best times of my life. I learned and grew so much during that time. Meeting the woman who became my mentor for the internship changed my life and set me on a totally unexpected career path as a medical social worker. I am so grateful to have met her and for all the wisdom she imparted on me. It truly was a life changing year.
This year has also been a huge life change and I am certain that in 10 years I will be writing a reflection about it as well. But right now, it feels like I am just going through the motions of becoming acculturated. I have to remember that right now the most important thing is slowing down and enjoying my children’s youth. I rock them every chance I get. Hold their soft little hands and kiss their squishy little cheeks because I know that someday they won’t want me to do these things any more and I don’t want to regret not taking the time to share these sweet moments while they last.
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