Unfiltered Mommy

An honest view of parenting in today's world

Advice for first time moms

on February 9, 2014

When you are a new mom, people feel like it’s their responsibility to give you advice. Whether it’s their opinion on your plan to do natural birth, cloth diapering, work vs. stay at home, or any other topic they so desire. It’s almost as if they think that you haven’t done any research on your own because obviously you have no idea what you’re talking about. Oh, and it doesn’t stop there. Once your little budge of joy arrives, people are even more forth coming with their opinions about how you should be parenting.

After the first few months, I developed a way of coping with this unsolicited advice. The majority of the time I say something like “Oh yes, thank you so much” or “We’re fine, thank you.” and politely go about my business. However, every once in a while I can’t hold it in so this is when I unleash my own very strong, well researched opinion on them, just as lovingly as they have decided to tell me that they don’t they don’t agree with what I’m doing. Guess what nosey lady at the grocery store, yes, I do realize that my baby is crying and that she is most likely hungry but no, I do not need your help nor am I going to abandon my cart full of a week’s worth of groceries to run out to my car to feed her this instant because her crying makes you uncomfortable. I am certain that my baby will not die from hunger or from crying for 10 minutes while I finish up at the deli and check out. Now, could I have said “Oh you’re right. She might be hungry.”? Of course I could have! But after the second time she sought me out to tell me that I wasn’t parenting right, I’d had it.

My advice to new mom’s is simple. Listen to what others want to tell you, thank them, and then forget 90% of what they say.

My advice to those who want to give unsolicited advice: Bite your tongue and say something complimentary instead. This new mama needs you to tell her what she’s doing right because she’s already too self-critical as it is.

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