As each day passes and my youngest grows before my eyes, I desperately try to grasp on to every last bit of baby time. I find myself constantly begging her not to get any older, yet despite my pleas, she continues to grow. While each new stage brings new joys, it also brings the realization that this may be the last time that I will experience all of these wonderful moments.
My husband and I are not sure whether or not we will have any more children. Part of me REALLY wants more, but part of me kind of thinks that two is enough. My husband is still undecided, but I can tell that he is swaying more in the favor of stopping at two. We’ve decided not to make any decisions about this until our youngest is a little bit older and we are through the infant stage since this is such a difficult and emotional time.
Each day, I do my best to soak up all that new baby smell and cuddles, and enjoy every moment of her infancy while entertaining and interacting with a very busy and curious toddler. The days are so busy running here and there and trying to squeeze in all the mundane life tasks such as laundry and grocery shopping, that I often have to stop and remind myself to be “in the moment”. Practicing yoga for the past 9 years has taught me how to be present and how to slow down my thoughts. Sadly, I still have to make a conscious decision to focus on my baby and give her my undivided attention. I didn’t have this problem with my oldest. I would sit and watch her all day as she slept. I enjoyed every coo and every diaper change. But now it seems like life revolves around my toddler’s schedule and my youngest has to go with the flow.
I decided to do something to try to slow time down about two weeks when I found myself trying to do too many things at once. I decided that if I don’t want her childhood to pass me by, I needed to make a conscious effort to stop trying to be Supermom. I want to give her the time and attention that my oldest got from me. I have decided to put a moratorium on multi-tasking. The idea came to me last week as I sat down to nurse her and automatically grabbed my phone. Instead of rocking her and singing lullabies, I was watching Lost or looking up things to buy on Etsy. Technology has done a wonderful job at making us all feel like underachievers if we aren’t doing three or four things at once. We cram so much into a day that we all become insomniacs because our brains have not had a chance to process the days events by the time our heads hit the pillow. We stay up all night, tossing and turning, thinking about how we are going to fill the next day with tasks to distract us from our lives.
It’s true, I have learned to do so many things one-handed since I have become a mother. I can cook, clean and even reorganize my garage, but why? Why am I always trying to get so much done at once? Maybe it comes from our society’s ideal of being a Supermom or maybe it is an internal drive to accomplish more than I should but whatever the reason, I am fighting back. Last night as I thought about this problem of multi-tasking I was pumping while unloading the dishwasher, cooking dinner and supervising my oldest. It is ridiculous! From now on, I am going to sit down and nurse my daughter without having my phone nearby and I am making a concerted effort to not multi-task so I can share in the precious moments that are quietly slipping by. I have also made a schedule for activities so I can spend quality time with both of my daughters instead of getting lost in the day-to-day.
What have you done to simplify your life/schedule?
Unfiltered Mommy 
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