Unfiltered Mommy

An honest view of parenting in today's world

Raising a Nation of Spoiled Brats

on July 3, 2014

Undoubtedly there are many benefits to waiting until your 30s or 40s to start your family. Being more mature gives us a different perspective on life than younger parents. For me, having had more time to enjoy my freedom and youth allows me to be more present and focused on my children’s needs rather than daydreaming about that summer backpacking tour through Europe or South America that I never got to experience. In fact, I did that, as well as many other things on my bucket list before deciding to start a family.

Another benefit is that when you are more established in your career, you are typically more financially secure and can afford to buy your children things and give them experiences that many children will never have the luxury of knowing. But even having enough disposable income to make their wildest dreams come true, does not mean that we have to give in to every wish and desire.

We all know that parent who just cannot say “no”. Their children have more toys than the average indoor play place, their birthday parties looks like they are pulled straight from Pinterest and their kids are spoiled brats. That’s right. I said it. They are spoiled. While it seems to solve an immediate issue or prevents an uncomfortable situation now, I can assure you that in 10 years, your lax parenting style is going to come back with a vengeance. You have to look at the big picture and ask yourself “What is this going to teach my child?”. If it is going to teach them to whine and cry and pitch a fit until they get their way, and this is not a behavior that you want to reinforce, then do not give in.

Also, it’s ok to discipline your kids and to say “no”. I give you permission to set limits and follow through with consequences. Maybe it is a fear of looking too strict to the other diners in a restaurant, or the other moms in the mommy group but it seems like people are too afraid to actually “parent” nowadays. And I understand why. There is a fear that some passerby will think you are too harsh and threaten to call Child Protective Services or maybe you have sworn to yourself that you will not make the same mistakes your parents made raising you. But do yourself and the rest of society a favor and teach your kids that life is not always fair. Teach them that they are not going to get everything and anything their heart desires and that’s ok. Teach them how to appropriately cope with feelings of disappointment.Teach them about delayed gratification and how earning something means more than getting it “just because”. These lessons will help them later in life.

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