Unfiltered Mommy

An honest view of parenting in today's world

Grown Up Tattle Tales

on July 18, 2014

In early childhood we learn to resolve conflicts with our peers by speaking with them directly. We’re told “Stop being a tattle tale!” in hopes that the autonomy will teach us to think for ourselves. So why do constantly find myself wondering when this wonderful life lesson suddenly becomes unlearned?

It seems like many adults forget how to talk to people! Every time I check Facebook or see a news update, there is another post or story about someone who felt it was their civic duty to call the authorities on some unsuspecting parent or pet owner. I get it. I am a mother of two and a pet lover, but I do not feel the need to call the cops every time I see someone who left their dog in the car while they ran in a store for 5 minutes. And while I do not think that leaving young children alone in parked cars is such a great idea, I do see why parents do it in certain circumstances. When you have young kids, a 2 minute errand  can quickly turn into a 30 minute chore. Between emotional outbursts, diapers or toileting, or an umpteen other things that could occur, sometimes you contemplate whether or not unbuckling and rebuckling two carseats so you can run in and grab your pizza is worth the hassle.

And what about when you have a sleeping or sick child in the car? When I see sick kids in cars outside of pharmacies I think, “Poor kid, I am sure his mom/dad is inside getting his prescription.” Not “Hey I’m calling CPS!” Seriously, is it NEVER ok? What are you supposed to do? Is dragging your sick kids through CVS better than letting them rest in the car? I remember being left in my mom’s car once in a parking lot. We didn’t think it was a big deal but we most definitely would have been traumatized if the cops had shown up!

When I hear these stories I feel conflicted. I know that people  are acting out of the goodness of their hearts, and they are clearly concerned for the children’s safety. But I find it disheartening to think that we live in a society in which we are so paranoid  that there is a kidnapper or pedophile lurking around every corner, waiting to snatch a kid away, that we are willing to devalue parents and publicly humiliate them in front of their children. The fact is, the majority of parents out there are making decisions they feel are best for their children. Their decisions are well thought out and based on their own values and are done out of the love for their children. The last thing parents want is to endanger their children and have to live with the guilt of feeling responsible if something were to happen. Just because you may not agree with their choice, doesn’t mean it is wrong. So please, stop helicopter parenting other people’s kids and mind your own damn business.

 

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